The world wide Covid pandemic has revealed how important it is, for the loved ones, to be in close proximity, when their loved one is dying.
This article interviews 4 "experts" and here's a brief synopsis of what they said:
"Several New York City funeral directors tell me that there is a difference in the disposition of a family when their loved one has died at home without hospice—confirmation of what we’ve long known: proper pain relief, the knowledge that death is imminent, and the company of others can make death peaceful".
"That we can’t gather with our loved ones is huge. We can typically visit a loved one in the hospital, whether they’re dying or are unconscious, and knowing we cannot do that adds another level of complexity. We can’t do our rituals, hug, cry, in person, we have to do that virtually, if we can do them at all".
"The issue is for families thinking about the person dying alone, the idea that not only I’m grieving my father who died in hospital alone, whatever he died of, but that he was there without any support from us. Thinking about what that was like for him adds another level of complexity to grieving".
"The term “grief” has been thrown around a lot. I’m sorry you can’t go to the bar you go to every Friday night but it’s not the same as a family grieving their father who died while they couldn’t be there. Grief has been trivialized and real grief, for someone who died, marginalized. When everyone is grieving something, your specific loss becomes minimized".
Death, dying and grief are normally very complex and emotional events. However, adding a pandemic to these experiences, tend to compound the complexity of feelings.
A Necessary Conversation can help to uncover and untangle the deep feelings we have with these experiences.