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Over the past two years, since the beginning of the pandemic, life has changed dramatically for most of us, but obviously the most affected are those whose loved ones either died of Covid or died during the past 2-plus years of Covid.
All industries, including the funeral industry, have had to change and adapt to the new normal of life. According to this article, the funeral industry has seen some trends and innovations that have occurred when it comes to honoring and celebrating a loved ones life. Here are some of the trends: Cremation Jewelry Eco-friendly burials On-line planning and purchasing Actively participating in a loved one's cremation, funeral or burial Online grief support/grief counseling Pre-planning to ease the burden of loved ones Creative alternatives to burials Celebration of remembrance Livestreamed services Personalized funerals with attention to detail A Necessary Conversation can you and your loved create a life celebration that honors and shares the true essence of the person.
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"Momento Mori is a Latin phrase meaning "remember you must die and death is inevitable".
This term arose from the minds of the great thinkers. The ancient practice of reflecting on our mortality goes back to Socrates. Obviously these scholars understood how reflecting on death can invigorate life, create meaning and recalibrate life's priorities by always being reminded to keep the temporary nature of existence in their minds, so they may appreciate life more. Therefore, death is the secret paradox of life as End-of-life contemplation can potentially wake us up to profoundly breath more meaning into our lives. "We all want to live and not think of death, but when you think of death, you end up (trying to) living better"! Death awareness and death education can create a deep desire to understand human life and the impermanence of it. Covid has changed everything, especially death.
As of this date, the US has recorded 947,000 deaths. For each of these deaths, they say 9 other people are affected. This means over 8,523,000 lives have been directly affected by a Covid death. This is an unbelievable number. Please take time to take this in......over 8 million people have been directly affected by a Covid death, just here in the United States. We have all read/heard about how Covid changed death experiences, highlighting how hundreds of thousands most likely died in isolation, away from home, family and loved ones. These are tragic numbers, but it's also very important to be aware that the way people die, for the past several decades, have also been isolated experiences, even before the pandemic. "Death and dying have moved from a family and community setting to primarily the domain of health systems. Futile or potentially inappropriate treatment can continue into the last hours of life. The roles of families and communities have receded as death have become unfamiliar and skills, traditions and knowledge are lost"... As disturbing as these facts are, it's important to know that there has been a death-positive movement that has been taking place for over the last 10 years. Death Doulas are part of this movement, and our goal is to work with the individuals and families to create the most heart-centered, patient driven End-of-Life (EOL) experiences as possible. Please learn more about how you and your loved ones can experiences a more heart-centered approach to EOL. "From the popularity of Death Doulas to environmentally conscious burials", funeral trends are changing.
The funeral industry, like so many other industries, has seen a lot of changes in the last two years. The following article is highlighting the currents trends the industry is seeing and what their expectations are for the future. Environmentally Conscious Burials (Green Burials) Rising Cremation Rate (2021 57.7% cremation rate) Holistic After-Death Care (Death Doulas, Death Midwives) With so many varying funeral options, reach out and I can help you research the best plan for you and your loved ones. The attached article shows new trends and alternative ideas for funerals. A few of the trends are in the pre-planning and grief arenas.
Since Covid, families have had to be more creative on how to remember and honor their loved ones. These trends came before Covid, but the pandemic really emphasized other alternatives to the traditional funeral. Here are the top 10 funeral trends: Cremation Jewelry Eco-friendly burials (see article on Coral Reef in March resources) On-line planning and purchasing Actively participating in a loved one's cremation, funeral or burial Online grief support/grief counseling Pre-planning to ease the burden of loved ones Creative alternatives to cremation burial Celebrations of Remembrance Livestreamed services Personalized funerals with attention to detail A Necessary Conversation, A Death Doula Practice, can help you in honoring your loved one. Together, we create a service to represent the essence of your loved ones spirit and discover the best option that best honors your loved one. Most of us are confused when we hear the words hospice and palliative care.
HOSPICE When people hear the word "hospice" they usually think death is imminent. This is not true, especially if this service is sought sooner rather than later. Studies show hospice care is not started soon enough, because people tend to think hospice means giving up hope. Hospice care: Is a special kind of care It focuses on the quality of life It is for people experiencing advanced, life-limited illness. Should start when treatments no longer cure or control a disease. Can be started when a person is expected to live 6 months or less. **Please note one can leave hospice at any time, but the hope of hospice care is to bring quality of life, making the best of each day during last stages of advance illness. PALLIATIVE "Palliative care is provided by a specially-trained team of doctors, nurses and other specialists who work together with a patient’s other doctors to provide an extra layer of support. Palliative care is based on the needs of the patient, not on the patient’s prognosis. It is appropriate at any age and at any stage in a serious illness, and it can be provided along with curative treatment". Palliative care differs from hospice in many ways, but the most significant difference is that a person can continue to pursue curative treatments and does not have meet a life expectancy criteria. Palliative care: Is a relatively newer known medical speciality. Supports those living with serious illness. Helps patient to gain relief from pain and other symptoms Life expectancy is not an issue for palliative. Can continue to receive curative treatments or home health services. Its goal is to improve all around quality of life. "And recent studies, including one published in the New England Journal of Medicine, have shown that patients with a serious illness who received palliative care lived longer than those who did not receive this care". Please let me help you to make the best possible decision for you or your loved one. "A NEW Lancet Commission calls for public attitudes to death and dying to be rebalanced, away from a narrow, medicalized approach towards a compassionate community model, where communities and families work with health and social care services to care for people dying".
Death and dying are not just medical experiences, but they are equally as emotional, spiritual and socio-well being oriented. Death has become over-medicalized. We treat it as a condition, instead of a natural, normal part of life. Loved ones are wanting a change with how we experience death, and desire to be more involved as a family. Imagine how society would think, and experience death differently if we rebalanced and reinvented the way we look at it, talk about it, explore it, empower it and finally enrich it. A Necessary Conversation (ANC) helps individuals, families, and corporations to do death differently, and begin to experience the love, compassion and beauty that is end-of-life experiences. The Report of the Lancet Commission on the "Value of death, subtitled 'Rebalancing and Revaluing Death and Dying: Bringing Death Back Into Life' is a timely, cogent and illuminating foray into an aspect of life that few seem to consider".
What is the common denominator for each of us? We will all die, yet few people likes to consider it. The Lancet Commission is a series of publications from broad and diverse academic writers, activists, partners, in addition to others that investigate the worlds most urgent scientific, medical, and global health concerns. The results of this report is to provide recommendations that could change or improve health policies or practices. Considering the recent Duke survey (see February 2022 archives for this article), the world does need a major shift in how we learn, understand, accept and honor death and dying. Read more about the term "death systems" and "how they effect the interpersonal, socio-physical and symbolic networks through which an individuals' relationship to mortality is mediated by society". What is beautiful about death?
Death often leaves the loved ones with wounded souls, broken hearts and a void that often feels as if it will never heal. Yet, Dr. Jo Ann Gates, whom has experienced many deaths, finds "there is beauty at the end-of-life, but one has to look really closely to find it". Death can teach us so much about life. It shows us how to live a fully, in addition to seeing that end-of-life is most often filled with love, beauty and compassion, as well as sadness. When we learn to explore death and dying, even when healthy, we learn to bring up the difficult emotions and effectively engage in these necessary conversations, so we can learn the tools to bring comfort, ease and respect to these all important life experiences. One of the beauty in end-of-life is in being able to accompany and walk our loved ones in this journey, being aware that death is a natural part of the human condition. If death is as natural as birth, why aren't we learning more and preparing for it?
Dr. Jessica Zitter, an ICU doctor, says like other health issues, death education is as important as sex education, and that we, as a society, need to start having these conversations around death and dying so that we can be educated. The more we (individuals, families, communities, corporations, etc.) are well-informed about end-of-life matters, the more we can make better decisions for the patient and their families. The more we can meet the needs (physical, emotional and social well being) of the dying. Imagine if we taught death education, in high school and college. Would our younger population become even more comfortable and informed about what's important for their lives, their parents lives, and even their grandparents lives? Would they be able to assist loved ones in promoting a death positive experience? Lets take death out of the closet and give it the respect it deserves! Change is inevitable and how we deal with that change can alter our experiences.
"Life is precious because it ends one day, but death is not the enemy. The enemy is a life wasted". Dr. BJ Miller, a hospice and palliative care specialist, wants to remind people that are coming to terms with their own mortality, that: 1. There is no guarantee for tomorrow, ever. 2. Death is a reminder of what is important in life. 3. Death teaches you to go outside of yourself. Be kinder and more forgiving This reminder acts as a catalyst for fewer regrets in life. 4. Participate in your life, and in your dying. Take on an active participation role in both. 5. Remember what people, at the end of life, care about most. It is important for dying to know loved ones will be ok & will take care of themselves. 6. Take comfort that many people have accepted the end. 7. Clean out the skeletons in your closet, before the end. 8. Keep hope going, in that life is short, and precious, bring comfort and peace. 9. Simple pleasures, are appreciated at the end of life. 10. Think about what might happen after death. Find joy in the mystery of death. A Necessary Conversation uses "The 3E's" to help families and individuals discover and embrace the majority of the list above. |
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