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Talking with someone whom is grieving can be difficult.
We are nervous to say the wrong thing, so often we say nothing at all. We don't want to make the bereaved cry, so we don't mention the name of their loved one. We often just want to make the person feel better, and often we give sayings or give platitudes. Here is a partial helpful list, from a renowned grief specialist, David Kessler. The Best Things to Say to Someone in Grief 1. I am so sorry for your loss. 2. I wish I had the right words, just know I care. 3. I don’t know how you feel, but I am here to help in any way I can. 4. You and your loved one will be in my thoughts and prayers. The Worst Things to Say to Someone in Grief 1. At least she lived a long life, many people die young 2. He is in a better place 3. She brought this on herself 4. There is a reason for everything To read more on what to say, click on the article button
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Note***Go to video, and fast forward to 1 minute, 23 seconds to see.
Anderson brings up a few important points - Talking about grief - not making it worse than it is. Being honest and open about what grief is. See the effects that grief has on how one experiences life. Build a support of people to help bridge the gap when experiencing grief. Grief can manifest itself in many different ways - physical symptoms are just one of them.
I remember the relentless fatigue I suffered from grief. I was afraid to sleep because I would dream of loved one, and then would awake restless and suffering. I didn't have energy - was that because I couldn't stay asleep? Or was it because I was just depressed? The less I did, the less I wanted to do. It took me quite some time, that my grief was affecting my physical ability to "do life". Dr. Shear's work (in attached article) helps us to see that grief affects every single body part. She states: Recognize that your pain is normal. Approach your physical symptoms of grief with curiosity and self-compassion. Embrace gentle movement. Talk to health care provider about any concerns. Grief is unique.
There is not right way, or wrong way to grieve. Some grieve loudly, with a lot of expressions. Others grieve quietly, in solitude. Grief, is an individualized experience and journey. How do you grieve? Does it feel right for you? Learn more, contact Dee Dee |
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