"There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love".
I always felt uncomfortable with crying and I'd often try to hide it.
I saw it as a weakness, a vulnerability that was not to be done publicly.
I've worked many, many years learning to be gentle with myself, and to believe that tears are not bad, ugly or unworthy to be shared with others.
In fact, if I'm honest, I have spent a good portion of the last month crying. My tears haven't been due to a death, but yet to a big life change. Regardless of what my tears represent, they are part of expressing normal emotions.
Letting go of having to look "OK", releasing my soul to the realization that tears are healthy, and finding safe people in which to share my feelings, are all part of my healing process.
Even though I am still am uncomfortable with tears, I hope I have finally learned, from many wise people, that tears are sacred and are worthy to be expressed.
Experiencing a death of a loved one is a life altering event.
They say getting through "the first year" is hard, but I feel that each passing year comes with its own unique set of emotions and feelings.
Sadness and grief, caused by a death, can be triggered by many things - music, sounds, smells, holidays, birthdays. The death-anniversary can also bring up unexpected feelings.
How best to support others when events or death-anniversaries come up? The following article shares many helpful tips on what to say on a death anniversary, how you can support someone on a death anniversary, ideas and rituals for remembering a loved one.