Father's Day is approaching. For those whom father's have died, or those that have strained relationships with their dad, this day can bring up multiple of feelings.
Similar to Mother's Day, there is often societal norms and expectations that Father's Day will be filled with fun, laughs and love. However, we know this is not always the case, especially for those experiencing sadness and grief on this day.
Often grievers wish that others would say the name of the person who died. It reminds the loved ones that others are remembering their dad and they miss him too.
Lost and Found Grief Center gives the following tips:
Managing the Anticipation of Father's Day
Form a Plan for Yourself
Think About Social Media
Be With People You Love
How to Honor Your Father
For those wanting to celebrate their dad, there are still ways to do so, such as:
Donating to a charity.
Make a memorial book.
Listen to his favorite music.
Creating a memorial garden.
Eat a special meal in his honor.
Be honest and honor emotions that you may be feeling days leading up to and on Father's Day. These emotions may be intense, or they may not even be on your radar. There is no right or wrong way to remember your dad, just do what feels right for you on this day.
Have you ever heard of compassion fatigue?
Compassion fatigue is similar to burnout. It is the feeling that you have no more empathy to give.
With all of the mass casualties (Covid) and tragedies that have occurred in the last few years, especially in the last few weeks with the mass shootings of yet again, another school, killing 19 children and 2 adults, in addition to harming physically, emotionally and psychological scores of others within the community and society at large........it is understandable that we often feel that we have no more to give others because we have tapped our emotions to the breaking point.
Banner Health Blog offers a few of the symptoms of compassion fatigue:
We all get to watch for these symptoms and take care of ourselves, so we don't lose the compassion for what others are going through. We get to make sure that we take care of our needs - emotionally, physically and spiritually, so that we can be of service to others when they are in crises.
"UVALDE—21 celebrations of life in just two weeks".
In 14 days, there will have been:
19 Celebrations of Life for 19 children and 2 more Celebrations of Life for 2 teachers.
Uvalde has two funeral homes, yet hundred of volunteers arrived to help these families celebrate their loved ones in the way they deserve ~ with love, dignity and honor.
In the wake of this tragic event - a community has come together to walk alongside these funeral homes and families. "This tragedy led to weeks of back-to-back ceremonies and burials, and the funeral directing community stepped up in droves. Hundreds of offers from within Texas and across the country poured in".
"Many mental health experts agree that 9/11, like the pandemic, was a collective trauma that left us peering into the unknown, feeling scared and powerless. Both changed our lives, in some ways irrevocably".
Covid - 19
Mass shooting of children and adults at a school
The aftermath of such tragedies and mass casualties can make us feel uncertain, anxious, fearful, sad, angry, hopeless and out of our bodies.
In tandem however, we can also feel a sense of community and collective grief. We tend to gather together bonding, attend prayer vigils, create memorials with candles and cards, experience musical concerts and raise money for those whom are suffering.
All of these acts of humanity help us to bridge the gap to the senseless and sometimes helpless aspects of experiencing such tragedies. It can also help motivate us to make some sort of change of action to ensure such events wont occur so often.
School Shootings and Mass Shootings.
Trauma. Tragedy. Heartache. Anger. Disconnected. Numbness. Shock. Helpless. Hopeless. Despair. Hatred.
These are just a few of the emotion that people are feeling after these senseless and disturbing tragic, life altering events here in the USA.
Mass trauma affects community, society, nations, and the world at large. We have a common bond of emotions that can affect our physical, mental and spiritual health.
Trying to grasp and understand how a person(s) can purposely inflict such grave danger to others, is beyond most of our comprehension.
Coming together as a community and collectively grieving and mourning those whom have died, can create a sense of togetherness, like-minded people, that feel the same way and want to make a statement that "we are all in this together".
Gatherings together can help build a sense of humanity - acknowledging that kindness and compassion can illustrate that at our core, we all have dignity and want to live harmoniously with others.
"There’s a lot we can learn from the palliative care movement: it considers death as meaningful and dying as a stage of life to be valued, supported and lived. Welcoming mortality might actually help us live better lives and support communities — rather than relying on medical systems — to care for people at the end of their lives".
Death has as much value and meaning as birth. However, our society tends to only focus on birth and to deny or not talk about death.
What would happen to each our lives, and how would they be transformed if we brought death out of the shadows and into our everyday lives?
Would this death awareness help us to truly understand just how precious and unpredictable life is?
Would we realize that the "fluff" things we do in life, aren't filling us with joy and meaning?
Would we make more of an effort to spend more time with those we enjoy and love?
Would we treat others more respectively if we thought today could be our last day?
Think of all the different ways death awareness could enhance your live now.
Death and mourning as sources of community participation in online social networks: R.I.P. pages in Facebook
"Although most often mourning of a death is done privately within tight knit communities, online social networking sites and particularly Facebook R.I.P. pages are creating public participation in the memorialization of those who have passed".
The way we have mourned has changed dramatically since technology has taken a foothold in peoples lives. Once thought of terrible manners to share the news of a friend, acquaintance or loved ones death online, is now commonplace.
This mode of communication can help build a sense of community, especially when one is unable to be with the family or gather at the service.