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One's cultural identity often pave the way for grief norms.
Cultural rituals often include death and grief traditions, which are consistent ways to support the mourners and pave the path for community support. Taken from the attached article, here are some examples of how grief aligns with religious and cultural beliefs ~ Christianity: Scripture offers support, guidance, and comfort for the bereaved, while reminding them that they will see their loved one in the afterlife. Judaism: Specific grief rituals are offered as guidance to honor the deceased and to find comfort in the Jewish tradition, in addition to, providing expected modes of conduct in the first year of grief. North America: "Most Americans find it uncomfortable and taboo to openly talk about grief, leaving bereaved to mourn their losses privately". Mexico: Grief traditions involve openly grieving and honoring the death and paying last respects to the deceased and the deceased's family" Exploring differently religious and cultural expressions of death and grief may be helpful in finding what aligns with your soul and what brings you more comfort. What traditions, rituals, or beliefs feel true to you?
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"Over the years, there have been great changes in the social phasing of mourning in America. Until fairly recently, people in mourning were expected to wear dark clothes, often black, and to sequester themselves; to attend a movie a month or two after a spouse's death would be shocking. Now many feel that the opposite is true and that displaying grief in a public fashion is in bad taste. Private life is now more and more separated from public view".
Should one's grief be molded by what is socially acceptable? What guidelines should be followed for grieving in public? How did your family show grief - stoic grief, avoided grief, time-limited grief? Are these social norms healthy or do they hurt us emotionally? Is Grief supposed to fit in a box that is tucked away and not reopened? Be curious about the various ways in which you see and feel that society has imposed its restrictions on how we grieve and pave your own pathway to supporting another person's grief and your own bereavement. How an individual expresses grief may be influenced by ones personality and/or gender identification.
A person that tends to be more emotionally reserved, may find grief difficult to express, and If a person is on the quieter side, they may find it highly uncomfortable to cry or be sad. For those that are comfortable with feelings, they may find it easier to share their thoughts and emotions more openly with others. In regards to gender, and I do not wish to imply that a gender identification will 100% dictate grief response, there can be some differences in how grief is expressed. Masculine grief can often be shaped by how they were allowed to express emotions growing up. It may have been viewed as weakness by not having a stiff upper lip - as in, don't cry or show feelings, internal processing and wanting to get into some kind of action. Feminine grief energy can show up as wanting to talk about the many feelings and emotions, while seeking comfort in the sharing and getting support. There may also be the willingness to seek alternatives in grief expression, such as writing, therapy, or support groups. Again, there is no typical or right way to express grief, and personality and gender may, or may not, influence mourning, but if it does, it's good to be reminded that there is no one way to grieve, and that your way, is the best way for you. Please find ways to connect with others and develop a safe place to express grief, so as to feel less isolated and more supported. |
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