As EOL conversations can be uncomfortable, and hard to know where or how to start, The Conversation Project is a great resource for questions to get the conversations started. Here's what they suggest:
"Now, how do you begin a conversation? This list doesn’t cover everything, but here are some things you can say to start talking".
• “I need your help with something.”
• “Can you and I have a conversation about ______________?”
• “I was thinking about what happened to ___________, and it made me realize .”
• “Even though I’m OK right now, I’m worried that ____________, and I want to be prepared. Can we talk about some things that matter to me?”
• “Will you help me think about my future?”
• “I heard about the Conversation Project and answered some of their questions about things that matter to me when it comes to my care through the end of life. I’d like to talk to you about it.”
• “When ___________ died, do you think their wishes and priorities were respected toward the end of their life?”
"Here is a list of some other things you may want to cover when you talk":
• Do you have any worries about your health?
• What do you need to address to feel more prepared (examples: finances, property, legal documents, relationships, health care situations)?
• Do you have any fears, concerns, or mistrust about where or how you receive health care?
• Who do you want (or not want) to be involved in your health care?
• When you look ahead to the future, are there important events or dates you hope you’re there for?
• Are there kinds of treatment you would want or not want (examples: resuscitation attempts, ventilation, feeding tube)?
• If your health condition changed, when would it be OK with you to shift from trying to cure an illness to trying to enjoy the end of life as much as possible?