"It is one of the most vexing chapters of old age: how to navigate not just the inevitable ending, but the days and months immediately before it. As the bonds of support and dependency change, how do we tell our children that it is O.K. to say goodbye? And how do we tell our parents that it is O.K. to go"?
The conversation between adult children and aging parents is often difficult, especially for the adult children.
“There’s almost a superstition where if I don’t discuss it, it won’t happen. Or discussing it is depressing. A lot of times older people will say to me, ‘I’ve been trying to have this planning you talk about, but my kids don’t want to discuss it.’ So the parents are bringing up something relevant to their life, and the kids are saying, ‘I can’t deal with it.’ They’re making it about them, not their parents. And that actually leads to huge problems.”
Let's make a plan to start speaking with the elders in our life. Chances are, they may be ready to talk.
Be present, leave your ideas and judgements behind and just listen to the dying. These conversations will do everyone good.