Mother's Day is approaching and its helpful to be mindful of all the women that have experiences a life-changing experience of losing a baby, either through miscarriage or stillbirth.
There can still be a taboo linked to this worldwide experience, and often women do not receive the appropriate care and respect when their baby dies. Often people, not knowing what to say, often share antidotes of.....things happen for a reason, God wanted your baby, your baby wouldn't have survived, etc. These words often do not help the mother, in fact, they may even cause more harm by not validating the emotions and grief the mom may be experiencing. As Kimberly Van Der Beek shared "I’ve had three miscarriages, all around 10 weeks gestation. I let them all happen naturally. I had a loving husband, a compassionate birthing team and I felt spiritually grounded about them. And even in the best of circumstances, I was devastated every single time. After one of them I sat in the shower crying for almost five hours. What I find disheartening is that not all women, or fathers for that matter, are treated with the same compassion or have support during this gut wrenching time". This article states that although many women have access to the best healthcare, they often receive inadequate care of a death of a baby. For the mother and the family, it is important to have the experience of health care providers showing empathy, care and support, while acknowledging how parents feel and providing clear information and support for the family. Be sensitive when someone loses a baby in pregnancy. Show empathy and provide support for them to talk about how they feel. Don't try to fix how the situation or how they are feeling, just listen.
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November 2023
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